I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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