i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
