It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
