doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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