Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
