Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize