Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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