Well apparently he's into motor boating.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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