my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize