it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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