so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
