She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
