i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
