I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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