The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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