I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
