Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize