So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
