dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
