Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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