it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
