I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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