Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Never joke about your clitoris.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
