Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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