Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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