It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
