he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
