What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
