have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
