Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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