Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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