Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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