i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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