I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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