this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
