Sry I called you an 8
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
