So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
