I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
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He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
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well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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