He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
