Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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