Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
4 words: hood of his car
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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