She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
