my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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