they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I have fence marks all over my body
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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