When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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