hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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