I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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