Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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