So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
