The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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