i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
