Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
