If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize