Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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