I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
