you guys were way drunker than both of me
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
