thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
